03/04/15 Dear Diary,
    Christopher's condition is kinda depressing. I always wondered how Christopher got the damn cognitive disability. There's is nothing mentally wrong with me or my ex wife (which by the way Christopher has no idea that she is alive). I wish that Christopher is a normal kid sometimes but then other times his condition makes him special. Like how he does so well in school and other times he just doesn't know what to do like when he talks to new people.
  
     The way Christopher is obsessed with who killed wellington is nerve racking. He is always talking bout it and finding new ways to ask me who did it. He is also coming disturbingly close to finding out who did it. Every time he brings it up I feel my chest tighten in fear because I killed wellington and I'm afraid that Christopher will be afraid of me when he finds out who did it.


    Christopher angers me every time he talks bout it every god damn time it makes me worried and I have to tell him to stop. When he asks me why I come up with some bullshit answer saying that's its rude to be in other peoples business. Or I tell him some people may not like that your in their business and do something to make sure your not in their business anymore. Hopefully that will make him stop because I can't stand the guilt anymore and if he asks me one more time I might tell him.


    Being a single parent that has an autistic child is very difficult. People don't want to have a relationship or even go on a date with a guy that has a kid groan every time he is scared or don't know what to do. The best thing that a guy like me has is a girl nude magazine and a bottle of friggin lube. Its very lonely and depressing but its something that I have to deal with because I love my son and I'd rather be alone and lonesome than have him end up in some damn foster home. Where the people don't understand him or treat him the way he needs to be treated or the respect he needs to have to function properly.